Eureka Moments: The Lakshman Rekha & The Blockade (Part 1)

Autonomy & Balance in relationships

In a conflict, the core relational challenge is to figure out how to satisfy your desire to be simultaneously one with the other party (affiliation) and one apart from the other party (autonomy). 

Fundamentally, how can you coexist as both two ones and one set of two?

In the Spirituality context - what came to my mind was the  the 'Lakshman Rekha'. 

What is the 'Lakshman Rekha'

Rama's brother, Lakshmana draws the line (Lakshmana-rekha) along the perimeter of the hut or the parnashala they were staying in. Here Lakshmana is telling Sita that whoever dares to cross this line, his head will break into a thousand pieces. (*The Lakshman rekha doesnt precisely feature in the Valmiki Ramayana, yet it features in other versions) 

https://hinduism.stackexchange.com/questions/11834/if-lakshmana-rekha-is-not-in-valmikis-ramayana-then-where-is-it-mentioned

BOUNDARIES AND WHAT ONE CONSIDERS 'SACRED' 

As I was pondering on the application of the same, I was brought to sight by an egsample from a friend. My friend, Kaveri had an unusual dilemma.

Background: Kaveri lived in a gated community, where the walls, where the houses were are, not split by boundaries. Thus, the neighbors lived in harmony by respecting the boundaries of each one. 

This meant a very fundamental excise of integrity of not trespassing etc. 

Kaveri had a garden which she considered extremely sacred. Though, certain neighbors did not mind their flowers being plucked by another. Kaveri had strict reservations and made sure she communicated the same, intricately and carefully to her neighbors. Her neighbors understood the same. 

Issue: There was a new neighbor, who happens to seek to challenge this sacredness, not with a a deliberate intention but who doesn't necessarily see Kaveri's  rationale. 

During an early morning hour, she noticed, this neighbor, treading her plants to pluck the flowers she considered sacred. 

Kaveri, waited for a while and she took a 2 red hibiscus and 2 white flowers, walked to her neighbour;'s house  - and spoke to the lady. She said, "It seems you needed some flowers, please have these. But, as a policy, we don't encourage - plucking of flowers by anyone other than ourselves, we consider them very sacred. I hope you understand the same." 

The lady, responded in affirmation to the same and with a smile. 

BOUNDARIES - ASSERT YOUR BOUNDARIES & RESPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S

Boundaries - and the exercise of the same, hold much relevance in the context of MAPS and DIPLOMATIC DIALOGUE. 

Though the above allegorical egsample is to illustrate the of IMPORTANCE TO SACREDNESS and exercising and communicating the importance with Civility and promptness. 

It is when we exercise our boundaries and when we respect our neighbor's boundaries, can there be harmony. 

More thoughts as we move on ......